


Types of Friendzones

by Somnisneedssleep



Category: Persona 5
Genre: A lot of one sided feelings, Hint of all/Akira, I'm so sorry, One-Sided Relationship, This was born because I keep friendzoning everyone in the game, might be OOC sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-16 18:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11258901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somnisneedssleep/pseuds/Somnisneedssleep
Summary: It was fine if they were just friends, he saved her anyway, maybe she could repay him by helping him attain happiness.It was okay, he was content with what they had--That was a lie but let him believe in it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, during my first play through I practically abandoned all other social links and concentrated on Yusuke, while raising my stats to prepare for the NG+. On my second play through, I'am friend zoning everyone because I really want to date the artist boy and because none of the other girls appeal to me.
> 
> The fic was inspired after I friendzoned (more like sister zoned) Futaba, because her dialogue was just too emotional. Although Haru's was worse, omg I never felt so bad in my life.
> 
> So this is like, a fic on what they probably thought. Might be OOC since I haven't grasped the feelings and characteristics of the characters quite yet. Please be patient with me. Oh, and I only concentrated on the girls in the group, maybe I should make a special chapter for Akira.
> 
> Oh, warning for Typos because I can't read properly, and English ins't my first language. I also can't write to save my life.
> 
> This is my first fic for this fandom, please go easy on me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was fine if they were just friends, he saved her anyway, maybe she could repay him by helping him attain happiness

Ann realized that Akira was the perfect guy.

At first, she only thought of him as a trouble maker, someone she had to avoid; because she couldn’t afford to cause anything that may place her under the spotlight, again. His reputation did him no favours, and to add wood into the fire—on his first day no less, he had to be late and associate with the resident troublemaker Ryuji Sakamoto.

The rumours mill was lapping up the image of the mysterious problem child with a criminal record.

She avoided him as much as he could during the first few days; she needed to concentrate on looking after Shiho after all. She needed to appease Kamoshida while simultaneously rejecting his advances, she couldn’t piss him off or else it might affect Shiho somehow. She needs to make sure her best friend is happy, to protect her, volley ball is all she had after all. Ann is a strong girl; she can afford to make sacrifices for her best friend.

But it all came to head when she gave Kamoshida the wrong answer.

All she could hear was the dial tone on her phone when he hung up on her; the threat of Shiho losing her position in the team rang through her head. It was her fault. She dragged Shiho into her mess; maybe if she played it off a bit, maybe he would be appeased. But now, the consequence hung in the air. All she could do was curl up into a ball and cry, frustrated with herself and with her situation. She felt like there was no escape; she was going to fall into his hands either way, maybe if she had just given up—

It was Akira who offered to help her, to give her a listening ear, and she couldn’t help but taking out a bit of her frustration on him before feeling ashamed and running. That was all what she could do after all, run away with her tail behind her legs. She was weak. Weak and useless. A burden to her friend and to herself—

A hand was on her shoulder and that was the first time in a long time that she felt that someone was on her side. It was surreal to think that, in that very meeting, she would meet the person who would become one of her best friends; this person who didn’t have to sympathize with her; who didn’t have to listen to her; who didn’t even need to be burdened by the woes of some damsel in distress. And yet, he listened to her, tried to offer her some comfort, being kind to her even if he didn’t have to waste his time on some girl who also avoided him. He stayed for her.

And after everything that would have destroyed her; her best friend jumping from the roof, the metaverse incident where she was almost killed and almost given up, and when she almost lost herself to her murderous rage at the face of the shadow of her tormentor, Akira stayed.

Akira stayed with her, through thick or thin. He was there when she finally found her resolve. He was always there for her, a strong and supportive presence that always encouraged her in her weaker moments.

He was perfect, almost too perfect to be true. Anyone who knew him on a personal level may attest that he was the perfect guy, almost like those dashing princes from those Shojuo animes she used to watch as a little girl. Sure, he had his faults; he looks too plain, he wasn’t exactly the most graceful, and sometimes his too serious, and other times his jokes aren’t exactly funny, and she was even sure that he makes reference to memes no less. But, he was perfect; kind, considerate, smart, calm, collected, and compassionate. He was like the epitome of the perfect male protagonists in mangas.

She couldn’t help but look over their leader, today they were just chilling at the cafe. Exams where around the corner and they were doing a study group, and Ryuji was whining about taking a break. She looked over and saw him talking quietly with Yusuke. She wasn’t so sure how she couldn’t compete with that, on that day at the school rooftop she would admit to silently wishing that maybe Akira would confess to liking her, to being there for her. But instead she got the subtle ‘You have everyone’.

She knew she shouldn’t have expected much, but his eyes did not lit up whenever he saw her. There was only the fondness of a friend, but never that of interest. And she accepts that. She never deluded herself that maybe Akira ‘The perfect Guy’ Kurusu would take interest on her. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if she would have interest on his aside from a superficial belief that she may have a crush on him.

It was okay, it was better than okay, she had something she thought she could never have, friends who will always have her back. A family within their small group of silent vigilantes.  It was all thanks to meeting Akira that she had something that resembles a home. He saved her; Shiho saved her from her loneliness, but Akira saved her from herself. And, silently, she vowed to protect him too, not only from harm but also to protect his happiness. Because, what are best friend for? They always have your back.

She silently chuckled when she saw his attention divert to her, raising a brow when he noticed her staring. She gave him a smile and winked as she tilted her head to towards the artist beside him.

Although his eyes never lit up when he looks at Ann, there was always a small sparkle whenever his eyes met grey.

* * *

 

Makoto never understood relationships.

To be frank, she never had the opportunity to learn, as her time was merely poured to her studies. She needed to useful, to be independently, and to be perfect. She was the student body president, younger sister to the public prosecutor Sae Niijima, and the top of her class. A lot of students say that she has it easy, she was smart, beautiful, and was held in a pedestal by the students and teachers alike. Everyone expects something from her; excellence, perfection, and diligence. But, Akira only expected from her was her trust.

Adults always expect her to do what she was told. No complaints or opinion, just blindly following their orders and demands. As if she was an obedient little child that had no voice to be heard by the world. She turned a blind eye to everything, the corruption, the sins, and the crimes of the adults around her. Because, no one needs a disobedient child who can’t do what she was told. Her sister does not need her to cause any trouble. Her life was paved for her, get excellent grades, get into a well-renowned university, and excel in everything. It doesn’t matter if this was what she wanted. This is what she has to do.

But then, Akira comes and ruins it; breaking down the walls of her narrowed pathway, opening her to new possibilities.  She always felt like she had no choice but to be the obedient puppy of the adults in her life. She would forfeit her freedom as to not cause her sister any problems. She needed to be strong for her sister and to make sure to help in any way she can. But Akira showed her that she can be who she wants to be, to be free, and yet still be useful, not just to her sister but also to others.

She had been so naive, and even caused trouble for everyone around her. All she cared about was finishing the job. She didn’t even trust that the Phantom Thieves would help her, she had resorted to blackmail. And, all she did was almost ruin their chances with changing Kaneshiro’s heart; and yet from her mistake she was able to help them too, or that was what Akira told her.

Akira was nothing but supportive and patient towards her. He had the right to hate her; she caused him so much trouble after all. And yet, he accepted her with open arms, accepted her into his group, and was even a great confidant. No matter what she asked of him, he obliged, whether it was to accompany her to Shinjuku or pretend to be her boyfriend in order to help Eiko.

Their relationship was odd; no one would expect the perfect Miss President to be friends with the criminal teen. She relished it, the feeling that someone wouldn’t look at her as a pawn, but saw her as Makoto Niijima, the naive girl who didn’t know when to keep her nose out of someone’s else’s business. It was refreshing, to feel free to make her own decisions. If it wasn’t for Akira, she would forever follow the lonely path carved for her by both her sister and her own masochistic ideology that she only has to aim for success. He saved her somehow, taught her what really mattered.

And yet, maybe she had hoped for more. Maybe, the naive part in her heart wanted something more from their relationship. She was not a damsel in distress— far from it, and yet she hoped that maybe they would be more than friends at some point. It was wistful thinking, something she had considered only after the whole falling out with Eiko. He was just there, always there to jump in and protect her. Always there to guide her and to help her. Maybe she wanted to continue the charade.

That day they sat in the odd bar, while she poured her heart out about her naiveté in relationships, he was listening to her. She sounded like a child, and she was sort of embarrassed about her behaviour then. She doesn’t need a prince charming to be by her side. And yet, instead of offering to continue the charade, he merely replied ‘I’m sure you’ll find someone’.

She finally understood what Eiko felt, at least for a brief moment. She felt the desire and need to be seen and treated as someone special by another. Yes, she was treated differently by others, but nothing could replace the way Akira treated her, and yet it wasn’t in a special way. He treated her the same as how he treated everyone else in their group; patient, understanding, kind, compassionate, and friendly. He was a great leader who understood his relationships with his friends, and treats them as something special.

To be honest, it didn’t hurt as much as it should. Because, even though he didn’t hold any feelings for her it still led her to others. It led her to the group of people who will always be there to help her. She would do anything to protect their leader and their group of friends. 

From across her seat, Akira gave her a concerned look. She must have spaced out as she tuned out Ann and Ryuji’s bickering. She only offered him a reassuring smile and shook her head. She was fine.

“We should have some dinner, I’ll make curry.” Akira said aloud as he stood.

“If it isn’t too much trouble.” Makoto replied, at least the suggestion of food quieted Ann and Ryuji; “Also, I would suggest you make a bigger portion than usual. He looks far too thin.” she added as she looked pointedly at Yusuke.

Before the artist could deny the suggestion, not wanting to cause their leader any trouble, Akira smiled. “I don’t mind, in fact I was just thinking of doing that myself.”

She didn’t understand relationships, but she could at least understand the subtle way Akira treated each and every one of them differently.

That’s why; she understood that there was one person Akira would treat specially.

* * *

 

Contrary to popular belief, Futaba was not completely ignorant of feelings.

She was weird, she admits that. She was different from all the other teens her age. She was what people call as quirky and moves in the beat of her own drum. She doesn’t care about that anymore. Sure, there are times that she can freak anyone out because of how different she acts, but that was just her being her. Besides, no one can deny that she was a genius.

That was probably why she isolated herself. Sometimes she felt that, if only she was normal, then maybe she would be more likable. Everyone else ostracized her for her quirks. It was so lonely. No one understands her, nor do they have the patience to fully see that she was just like any other child in the world. She only ever had one friend, and she thought she had ruined that tentative friendship.

And then her mother died.

She was blamed for it. They painted her to be a troubled child who caused her mother nothing but grief. After some time she thought that maybe its best if she were to die. Nobody wanted her. Who would want someone like her? She was a problem. Even her own mother decided that death was better than being with her own child. She believed them, and believed that she deserved to die for killing the only person who probably loved her.

And it was Akira who showed her that it wasn’t true. He, along everyone else, patiently taught her to come out of her shell. They were patient and hopefully that she would recover from her trauma. Sometimes they were annoying (especially Inari) but they were kind and welcomed her.

However, it was Akira who gave her special attention. He was attentive of her needs and made sure she was enjoying herself and was comfortable at the same time. He went out of his way to help her become accustomed to society, and become more trustful of the people around her. He accompanied her and even helped her with her quests. He was always protecting her. He never judged her for her quirks, and even encouraged her to reach for her goals. He always encouraged her, and always assured her that he will be there with her.

He healed her broken heart with careful patience and love that was both familiar and unfamiliar to her.

She knew what her symptoms are: her heart would pound whenever he directed a fond smile her way; she would sometimes feel shy whenever he gave her praises, and she felt happy just being with him. She pretends to be ignorant of her feelings. Ignorance is bliss as they say, and she wanted to save herself the heart break. Akira was everything to her; okay, she has Sojiro, but he was always there for her. In any case, Akira was just someone she wanted to always be with her.

They were like family, but maybe she liked him more than a friend. She wanted something more. Something she could not hope to understand. Not even her books can help her. All she knew what that he made her happy beyond belief. She wanted him to be by her side forever.

That day she placed her heart out in the open and admitted that her heart beats for him. She wanted to know what he saw in her, and maybe she hoped that he saw her as more than a friend. But his reply was both painful and yet heartwarming: ‘we’re teammates’.

She would have cried, but she saw the same apologetic look her mother would give her. She knew Akira never wanted to hurt her and it was okay. She understood why the way he looked at her was both familiar and unfamiliar; it was the look of family, of a bother caring for his sister. Besides, he was still family. And he will always be family. Whether because he was informally adopted by Sojiro or because they made their own family in their group of friends. She only played along to show that there are no hard feelings.

And as the little sister to the most caring and selfless guy in the world she had to make sure he will be happy. Even if it meant that she would have to meddle.

“So, I was thinking maybe we can set them up.” she said without looking up from her phone.

Le Blanc was crowded today, not because of the amount of customers, but certain number of teens decided to chill at the cafe today.

“Oh! Yeah, after all he looks like he won’t make a move on him anyway.” Ann replied with a wink directed to their leader.

“Excuse me, but I have no idea what you two are scheming about.” Yusuke replied from his seat at the counter, he was sketching as he watched Akira make coffee, “is it a new plan for the heist.”

“No, more like setting you up with a date.” was Futaba’s direct answer, “I mean, sure you are a pain but I’m sure some poor sap would be interested in you.”

“I fail to see how my ‘dating status’ should interest you.” Inari replied with a told of his head.

Brown met grey as she gave Akira a glance, “Well~! I heard from a reliable source that some idiot asked you out, so I was thinking that—.”

The reaction was both hilarious and entertaining. Yusuke’s eyes widened in shock and his mouth hung open, but it wasn’t because of what she said; rather it was trained at Akira who almost dropped the kettle he was holding, only to grab it at the body and thus almost dropping it again before setting it aside to tend to his burnt hand. The pseudo barista hissed as the cool water met his injured hand. He’ll live.

“Are you alright, Akira?” the artist asked as he left his perch and rounded behind the counter to assist the injured teen.

“I’m fine.” she heard Akira mutter as he shot her a look, “it’s not that bad.”

Futaba heard Ann giggle and Makoto could only sigh as she stood to find the first aid kit. Ryuji merely shook his head; he wasn’t that dumb.

Yup. She wasn’t completely ignorant to feelings. Ohhhh, this was going to be fun!

* * *

 

Haru loved coffee.

It was the only connection she had with her late Grandfather. A man who drowned in debt but was loved by so many for his kindness. He was a great man, and she had hoped that she had more time to get to know him. Coffee and her dream to open a cafe was her only connection to him now. Myabe, if he had been alive, things would have been different for her.

Now, everyone wanted to use her, due to her lineage and her name. To others, she wasn’t Haru Okumura, but to them she was only the heiress to the Okumura Foods and its fortune. She was the sheltered girl who was privileged enough to be born into the Okumura family, and should act like one. She was faceless, and only her name ever carried any weight in society. And, some small part of her hated that. She couldn’t trust anyone not to use her to gain favor from her family, or to benefit from their company. She grew up in a gilded cage and thrown into a harsh and dark world.

Akira was one of the people who saw her not as a faceless person, but as that girl who only wanted happiness. He came to her in her time of need; like a prince that came to save the princess. And he did save her, saved her from her growing distrust on not only everyone buy on herself. He taught her that she can speak out and that she doesn’t have to lock her voice away. He accompanied her, listened to her, talked to her, and treated her like a person and not as a commodity.

He was always a soothing force in her life. He was just a silent reminded that she wasn’t alone anymore. She enjoyed the times they would talk over cups of coffee, and she enjoyed the times they would go to the metaverse. She loved the gentle and fond smiles he would give her whenever they are together. He reminded her of coffee, something she loved and found soothing.

He listened to her complain about her life. He never made her feel that she was being ungrateful; rather he encouraged her to speak up for herself. He even indulged her with her hobby and even offered to help her with gardening. He gave her advice, and even stood up to her ex-fiancé. He offered his honest opinion on her problems, and even gave her some insight as to how to communicate with her employees and the other shareholders. He made her feel at ease, and made her feel that she doesn’t have to carry the weight of her family name alone anymore. He was just something she wanted to breathe in forever, like the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

Akira always smelled like coffee and gentle flowers, maybe that was why she liked him too. He was gentle and kind. He never judged her for being weak willed, and never forced her into something she didn’t like. He has always been that to the group, the pillar that kept them calm and stable. Without his guidance, she might have simply accepted her fate and kept her mouth shut as the adults ran her company for her. He reminded her that she was not a mindless puppet.

To be honest, she felt like a princess who is waiting for the confession of her prince. Wasn’t that always what happened in fairy tales? The princess is saved by the prince and then they lived happily ever after. Although, this was more like that movie she watched, where a trapped princess was saved by a thief. But, Akira was still a prince in her fairy tales. However, this wasn’t a fairy tale, and when she asked him why President Takakura thought she liked him, and secretly she had hoped that maybe he might share her feelings. Her heart broke when he told her that they were just friends: ‘because we’re good friends’ he had said.

She felt her heart constrict, and she felt both disappointed and hurt. It hurt. She couldn’t even keep her composure and asked him to leave using the excuse that she had to study. He left her with an apologetic look. And that night, she may have let herself cry a little before shaking her head and berating herself. She should have known, after all, he did mention that he was once in love too.

She also knew that she wasn’t alone in her quest. Everyone in their team is there for him, as they will always be there for her. They were comrades and would always be connected through their friendship and trust. No matter what, they will always be there for her. And they will always be there for their leader. Akira taught her to trust, and their team will always trust each other to have each other’s backs. They were all connected through Akira, the glue that stuck their team together. Without him, maybe they would have never met. Without him, maybe she would never be saved. She didn’t care if she had to betray someone, as long as it was to protect her friend, it would have been worth it.

Although she never got the prince, it was enough for her if Akira could find happiness; maybe she can even help him achieve it just as he helped her find her own path. She swore to help him, and she would make sure that he will always have her support.

“You should just tell him how you feel.” Haru said as she took a sip of her coffee. They were at a simple cafe this time, not as homey as Le Blanc but their coffee was satisfactory at least.

“It’s not that simple.” Akira replied with a shake of his head, “I’m content with what we have.”

He was always like that, sacrificing himself for his comrades. “But I don’t think you would forever be content to watch from afar.”

He chuckled in turn, “I won’t, but he’s too good for me.”

Haru shook her head, “No, don’t say such things.” she lightly scolded, “you are perfect.”

“Thank you, but I don’t think I would be good enough. He doesn’t need all the baggage I carry.”

She frowned, “If you don’t do anything soon, he might just be taken from you.”

He shook his head, a small sigh escaping his lips. “How can I compete? I have nothing to offer him.”

She took another sip from her cup. “I don’t think he cares for what you have to offer him.” she said gently, reaching out to place a hand on his, “And, I will be here for you. So think about it, okay? I don’t like seeing you pining over and having your heart broken.”

He chuckled, “thank you, but heartbroken is such a strong word.” and with a grin he said, “although that exaggeration would be good for my over dramatic image.”

She couldn’t help but giggle as she took her hand back. And then she decided that maybe she can change the topic.

Maybe, everything would work out. She could help him capture the prince in his fairytales.


	2. Akira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was okay, he was content with what they had--That was a lie but let him believe in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here was the mentioned Akira chapter. And well, I tried to do my best. 
> 
> This might be OOC because really, I still can't grasp the characterization even though I'm about to go for my third playthrough.
> 
> Friendly reminder: I'm not very good in English
> 
> I would like to thank everyone who supported and read this fic, it means a lot to me!
> 
> (Edited: Accidentally posted the unedited chapter)

Akira was surrounded by lies.

He knew lies followed him wherever he went. People often lie to protect themselves or their image. He was sure he lied more than once, and so did his parents and all his friends and neighbors. In fact, it was a lie that got him into this mess in the first place: falsely accused of assault, his parents practically throwing him away from their home, and being shoved into the care of a stranger in another place he was not quite familiar with. It was lie that has thrown him to his fate.

If fate destined him to be alone, then he would rather believe fate is a lie too.

_Mutely, he could hear Clotho laughing in his subconscious; he could even feel that Fortuna and Lachesis were amused by his thoughts._

He just accepted his circumstances, and decided to deal with his life using the cards he was dealt with. He thought that maybe he should live a quiet life in Tokyo, to avoid any unnecessary problems. He looked on the bright side; maybe he can make new friends, get along with his temporary guardian, Sojiro-san, and have a peaceful year. A new start, even if it would be only temporary.

Of course, it was shot down as soon as he arrived for his first day of school.

He was pulled into a world of cognitive palaces, and personas. He got dragged into a new world of problems that shouldn’t even exist in reality. However, he was grateful, because he remembered that even when he was condemned, he will never regret saving that woman. He should never regret his instinct to help someone. Looking back at it now, Arsene was right; he should rebel against everyone and everything that attempts to snuff out his spirit. May it be others, or his own cowardly will.

And it didn’t end there either, somehow his world became larger, and he has been thrown into circumstances that could kill him. And yet, he was brave, arrogant, and vain whenever he wore his Joker get up, and whenever he was running around the Metaverse. He had no fear for his life, but smirked at the face of death. In that world, he was Joker, the leader of the Phantom Thieves. Sometimes, he wonders which one is real?

As Akira, he was the docile quite new transfer student; the delinquent with a criminal record. The whispers behind his back were the same: he was insane, he was a murderer, he was violent, and he was no good. His real self is a lie; it was his Metaverse who is the real Akira. Or maybe, he was never Akira in the first place, maybe Joker is the real one and Akira is the mask. All he knew, which ever Akira he projected—whether it be Akira Kurusu or Joker, could either be a lie or the truth.

He didn’t know what to believe, everything in his life could actually be built on lies as far as he was concerned.

As they say, a lie could be the truth, and the truth could a lie.

He wasn’t what his team saw him as. He wasn’t the calm leader they knew him to be. He had his doubts, he had his fears, and he had his insecurities. But, he couldn’t lose to them, he had to be strong. He had to be the pillar of the group. What good would it do to the group morale if the leader was afraid and unsure? He had to be strong.

How many masks did he wear in front of people daily? He didn’t know. He knew that he could bend his personality to fit the situation. He didn’t know which of himself was real sometimes. All he knew was that whatever care and love he had for his friends were genuine. That was not something he would lie about. Admittedly, he probably would never have met them had his life been fine, but he could never replace them for the perfect life he once lost.

It wasn’t a lie to wish that maybe he could give his friends everything they deserve.

He wish he could give the girls what they deserved, but he couldn’t. It could have been easy, to lie to himself and pretend to like one of his friends. He couldn’t pretend forever, especially to how some of his female friends shown interest in him. Some weren’t so obvious, but others? He felt guilty when he indirectly shot them down.

But, if there was one thing he couldn’t lie to himself it was his feelings. He couldn’t lead them on, even if they seemed heartbroken at his reply. He can’t lie to them about this. He couldn’t bring himself to add any more lies to his growing list.

With Ann, he only ever saw her as a best friend. She was one of the people who saw past the lies the rumor mill painted him to be. Makoto was a great confidant, and practically the vice-leader of the group. She always gave him her input, help plan out their heists, and was always there to render advice. Futaba was his little sister. He saw her as a younger sibling he never had, and Sojiro as their tough yet soft hearted father. She was family, and he loved her as one. Haru was a great confidant, always emphatic and compassionate. He found her relaxing to be with, even if it was just between cups of coffee.

There were other girls too: Chihaya, Ohya, Kawakami-sensei, Takemi, Hifumi. He never saw them as anything but friends, allies, or teachers. Yet, some of them expected him to like them as someone more.

And, he wanted to lie to himself, that he is interested in at least one of them. Whenever he remembers the look on Haru’s face when he said they were friends, or when he downplayed Futaba’s feelings into merely care for a teammate, the slight hesitation in Ann and Makoto’s voices when he said there is someone else for them. He could have saved at least one of them the rejection. But, he couldn’t lie to them, and most of all to himself.

He couldn’t even lie to himself even if he tried. He knew that, even if he did manage to fool himself, his heart would direct him to the truth. He would only hurt them, especially when they realized they aren’t his priority. Already, he often cancelled plans to meet up with a certain someone in Shibuya Underground Walkway. He declined invites to meet with a certain someone to watch art documentaries, or read art books. He suffered through hours looking at various paintings he had no interest with, in an attempt to spend time with a certain artist. He would always prioritize _him_ over anyone else.

He couldn’t lie about that, he tried, but his heart won’t let him.  – _Arsene was laughing at him, disguising his feelings merely backfired at him._

He wasn’t so sure anymore. He wanted to pretend to be someone interesting. He tried to play it cool whenever they were together. He tried to seem interesting. He wasn’t like Ann with blinding beauty, nor was he like Ryuji with noticeable muscles (It was a relief however, when he heard him say that Ryuji wasn’t a very interesting model). He was just, plain old Akira; the plain student who is surrounded by lies and masks, the student whose life was dictated by lies and deceit. He was Akira, he wasn’t Joker, who was suave, arrogant, and collected. Akira wanted to try and project more of Joker, but all he was able to manage was at least to let out some witty remarks.

Outside of heist meetings, Mementos training, and Palace infiltration, he was just Akira.

He tried. He tried to reach him. Akira paid special attention to the artist. He did everything he could to at least try to have his feelings cross. But, he had been too self conscious. Akira found that he has nothing to offer the other. With Yusuke, he feels like he can be himself, even for a few moments.  Yet, he hasn’t shown everything to him, whereas Yusuke has shown him even his most vulnerable state. He had always been honest with his opinions of the other, may have even indulged him with his hunt of inspiration, but he didn’t show him everything about himself. Yusuke had thought so highly of him.

Yusuke called him his light.

That was a lie.

He was sure the light had been Yusuke, he had been so dazzling, bright, and passionate, so honest, and truthful. And Akira always thought that Yusuke was beautiful, and everything paled in comparison. He shone the brightest whenever his interest took over, and his eyes will shine with so much enthusiasm and passion. That day he awoken to Goemon’s power, Akira felt both admiration and thrill run through his spine, because the artist was powerful and elegant.  Maybe that was when the oblivious artist slowly took his heart and ate away whatever doubts he had on his feelings for the breathtaking artist. Yusuke was just magnificent, and Akira was captivated by his entire being.

He admits, Yusuke was no saint and his naiveté got them into trouble a couple of times; Yusuke can never pick up social cues. However the honesty, innocence, and blind devotion was almost refreshing. It was like, finding a diamond in a dusty dark cave. Even with what Madarame has done, Yusuke was still hopeful, honest, and practically pure. He still saw the beauty of the world.

He wanted him, both as Akira and as Joker. He wanted Yusuke; to protect, to love, and to hold.

That’s why, he couldn’t lie to himself: _He had nothing to offer him._

Even when everyone was encouraging him to confess to Yusuke he still felt like he shouldn’t. He couldn’t bear the thought that he would be rejected, or worse, that he wouldn’t be enough for him. Yusuke was so different from him. Akira was caged, and chained; whereas Yusuke was set free and could fly where his passion and inspiration took him. Akira was plain, so easily forgettable; whereas Yusuke was so beautiful, inside and out. Akira was not beautiful, he could barely be honest with himself, he didn’t need to taint Yusuke’s world. Akira could be so cynical and he wasn't so sure if his influence would do any good for Yusuke. Worse, he wondered if Yusuke would ever reciprocate his feelings.

That’s why he’ll simply be content to be friends with him. After all, friendship outlasts romantic relationships and Yusuke doesn’t need the stress of relationships at the moment. Akira doesn’t need the stress of heart breaks at the moment. He can’t stay forever. No matter how much he wants to. He has to leave, and to leave Yusuke behind just hurts. They could make it work, they probably could, but Akira didn’t want to risk it. He just had to be content with whatever they had. He was content.

And, although his heart always felt cracked whenever he remembers that their relationship was only platonic, it was okay; _his reward was often a bright smile, eyes bright with passion and joy. On special occasions, under the light of stars he could see grey eyes shining with adoration and gratitude—_

_It was okay, because, just being with him—being with Yusuke, and seeing him happy, smiling, and content satisfies him._

Or so he would like to believe—

“Okay, dude, this hopeless pining is suffocating me.”

Akira blinked, his thoughts must have wandered again, and he looked down to the book on the table. Had he really been staring at the same notes all this time? He wasn’t sure how long he had let his thoughts wander, but he based on the silence in Le Blanc, and the absence of his other team mates, then it wasn’t for long. Idly, he realized that Morgana was napping on the counter, good thing Sojiro wasn't around to tell the cat off.

“Okay, this is like, super out of my knowledge but man, you should just confess to him already.” Ryuji continued, scratching the back of his head, again pulling Akira away from spacing out. “I’m your bro, so it’s my duty to tell you when to man up and walk up to your weird crush or something.”

“I’m not pining.” Akira replied with a shrug, but a smirk managed to slip unto his face, “you however, is pining on our own very sexy catgirl.”

The blush was instantaneous, and Akira couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lip as Ryuji’s defense of _‘I’m not pining over her! I’m just worried and all—STOP LAUGHING AT ME!’_ Morgana's ears twitched and he raised his head to glare at Ryuji. Akira hoped that the cat did not hear about Ryuji's crush on Ann; the two barely got along as it is, the team does not need added tension from a rivalry.

“But, back to topic, Akira, I think you should just confess.” The other managed to say when he finally was able to calm down, ignoring the cat who opted return to sleep. “I mean, I know how it’s like to be friend zoned, but a self-imposed one? That’s kinda depressive.”

He had similar discussions before from his various team members, but his answer had always been the same-

“I know it doesn’t fit my suave thief image.” Akira joked as he tried to banish whatever solemn atmosphere that started, “but, I’m content with being friends with him.”

He heard the small bell chime, and Akira turned to stare at who arrives. His eyes immediately sought out the artist and when his eyes met Yusuke's grey ones, he felt his heart skip a beat and a wide smile grow on his lips. Yes, he was content, even if Yusuke was so far away but at least he can still see him. He felt his heart constrict-  _He was content_.

_That was an obvious lie._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I usually have a theme whenever I write, I'm sure a lot of people observed that from the previous chapter--
> 
> The theme for the girls were the common friendzone, Akira's is the type of friendzone that was self-imposed (And it can explain why we can't date Yusuke--lol just kidding)
> 
> So, anyway thanks for reading. I may or may not make Yusuke's chapter, it depends on whether I get inspiration or something--
> 
> I avoided Morgana because I'm having so much trouble trying to characterize him-- I put him in with no speaking roles instead. (Besides, he likes sleeping anyway)

**Author's Note:**

> I think Futaba isn't that ignorant of human feelings. And even is she is, she might have searched her symptoms in the internet and found it was the feelings of a developing crush. (Though, it would be funnier if she found results that lead to a disease and she talks Sojiro into bringing her to the hospital only to find out that she was healthy and that Sojiro will give her the talk about boys).
> 
> I feel like the girls will help in their own way to encourage Akira to pursue the person he likes (Whether it be Yusuke, or anyone else in game). As for Futaba saying someone asked Yusuke out, I'll be frank, Yusuke is a good looking guy and it's impossible that no one would ask him out or even hit on him. How Futaba knew? She is Oracle, she knows all.
> 
> I can also imagine Akira not being 100% suave as he wants to be. He will have slip ups (I mean, when your Proficiency is low he would often get hit by chalk so--). So, I think, if he was caught off guard he would slip, be a bit clutzy. 
> 
> I also see Haru as a great confidant to Akira, like she would also offer her insight on his problems. She is sensitive and empathetic, so if Akira wanted to be soft and talk about his feelings, I think Haru would be the best bet.
> 
> There is no fixed timeline, but obviously Ann's was sometime after meeting Yusuke.


End file.
